God is so good!

Over a week at Hospital with a lot of heartbreaking suffering, so much needless suffering and we stand by helpless to make changes. It causes so many emotions. We are observing miss management, suffering, fear, poverty, things that could've gone different. So many C-sections that could have been prevented. Their c section rate is is 80%!!! In USA its generally 30%. this is from lack of good training, not because of true need.

On Sunday we had "table church". When asked the feeling I've had this week it was "helplessness". I felt helpless to fix, change, teach. Instead of being able to control anything, we we're having to observe outdated dangerous practices, like fundal pressure! Yikes! We took time to realize everyone at the table had the same feeling. We prayed God would speak to us about this, and He did. He comforted my heart with the truth there are so many things in life I can't fix and control. I am helpless, but He isn't. I can be the toddler in my Fathers arms, with him holding me tight and me just stop trying to fix everything and instead rest in Him. I cannot understand this life on earth, but I can rest on my Fathers chest, trusting He can take care of this too. Maybe He didn't bring me here for what I thought I'd be doing, but maybe He has me here to minister in a completely different way then I expected. Maybe it's not my time to be ministering at all, but just watching and learning. Maybe this has to do with something in the future that He's preparing me for.

I'm going to choose to be content in His arms. I don't have the emotional strength to figure all these emotions out. But I do have the strength to "enter into His rest". And be content taking the next step He puts before me.